Imposters
How long does it take before you feel like you belong in a place?
This is a question that I've often mulled over, and it's a question for which I'm not sure I have an answer yet. I've been making my way in this industry for several years now, though the lead-up, Kickstarter, and delivery of Galactic Cruise was certainly a heck of a springboard into the business. That game has, quite literally, changed my life—and the lives of my fellow Kinson Key Games owners, T.K. and Dennis, as well as our head of communications, Mark—and its effect is proving to be beyond the flash-in-the-pan that some predicted. We've gotten honored with multiple nominations and accolades (most recently, the Golden Geek Award for Heavy Game of the Year), and buzz for our upcoming titles, Excursions chief among them, has been very promising.
Still, there are times that the Imposter Syndrome feels like it's at an all-time high, and there are moments when I still feel like the nameless nobody that I began as. I recall meeting Elizabeth Hargrave at Origins and feeling super nervous about approaching her because I felt like a fan, not a fellow industry professional. I felt the same way when I reached out to Alexander Pfister (my favorite game designer), asking if he had any new games in the works or any older games for which he had regained the rights. (By the way, they, and virtually every other designer I've had the pleasure to interact with, are lovely and gracious people!)
It regularly blows my mind to see Galactic Cruise being casually mentioned alongside other titles. Just the other day, I saw a Facebook post posing the question "Galactic Cruise or Kanban EV?" and there were probably 50+ replies, some in favor of Kanban EV and some in favor of us. The very fact that we are being mentioned alongside a "real" game is an honor enough, let alone that a great deal of the comments declared us to be the victor.
There are certain undeniable facts that I know are true. We have had multiple successful Kickstarters; there are almost 11,000 GC owners here on BGG, and the game has nearly 7K ratings; we are currently ranked as the #122 game of all time, and #69 in Strategy. All of this data points to the fact that I've "made it," but it's still surprising to me every time someone comes up to our booth at a convention to tell us how much they love our game.
At the same time, it's also deeply humbling each time I ask someone, "Oh, have you heard of Galactic Cruise?" and they reply, "Nope."
*****
I have two stories that are slightly related to this topic, and both of them, oddly enough, involve Cole Wehrle.
The first is something that Cole talked to me about at Gen Con, where he talked about how, when he's on the convention floor, he's designer-of-Root; as soon as he leaves to go to a restaurant or something, he's just Another Hungry Guy. He said it's a feeling that you never quite get used to, to be "somebody" in one instant and "anybody" in the next. So, if it's happening to Cole Wehrle, I guess it's okay if it happens to me.
The other story involving Cole is from PAX Unplugged, where he jogged up to me, half out of breath, and asked "Did [[well-known designer]] find you?" That was the first, and to date, the only, moment, I had a designer of a top 100 game asking if another top 100 designer had found me. In that instant, I felt more like an imposter, and less like an imposter, than I ever had before.
Also, for those of you who are curious, that designer did, indeed, find me, and we signed a game of his shortly thereafter. You'll have to wait and see who it is, and what he designed. . . .
